Do you feel at the mercy of a stressful world?
Do you often have shame about feeling overwhelmed?
Do you find that even though you are doing healing inner work that you are becoming less functional, more easily overwhelmed, and less able to lean in and show up in the world?
Do you find your sensitivity and empathy gets in the way of being able to show up for challenging things?
Are you looking for a way to work with this that is experiential and embodied rather than mental or effortful?
I think what we all want from any healing journey is to feel more whole, intact, open, and able to meet our lives in all their glory and also their inevitable challenge.
We want to be able to engage with ourselves and our lives from this place that feels like it has agency, capacity, clarity, a substantialness, and of course enjoyment.
Yet it’s not uncommon that when people are on a healing journey, instead of embodying these qualities they can feel instead more neurotic, more fragile, and more confused.
The absolutely critical foundation needed for a healing path to have the effect we want (instead of it making us feel stagnated or to feel worse) is the ability to embody- to deeply and experientially know- safety.
“Safety first” is the mantra of genuine and thorough transformation.
So how do we come to know safety in our bones?
Embodying safety- experientially feeling our own capacity- is very different than understanding that safety is important.
In a mental culture where we are all taught how to think our way to healing. We assume that if we can just collect the right data bits, or just do a bunch of what we are told is good for us (like meditation), then we will feel better. But learning about things does not in and of itself change anything.
We need to be able to feel- to know, to live- what we have learned. And we need to know what practices we can do to incrementally experience the kind of shift we are trying to make.
In this 4-week course, we will:
Discover your confused protector parts that have learned how to get to safety in ways that are not serving you.
Understand how to grow capacity in your body to do hard things, and also to receive good and yummy things.
Un-gaslight yourself from many self-help models which start with the premise that there is something wrong with you that you need to strive to fix (case in point: a pandemic is a very good reason to feel afraid, so feeling afraid is not “the enemy”, it is instead a part that can use some support through a hard time).
Learn concrete practices for quickly coming into presence (you don’t need a cave to meditate in).
Discover where you have been located in or out of your body and how to find sturdy refuge inside of yourself.
Practice safe, embodied relating from inside of yourself.
Learn self-compassion skills that don’t teach you how to bypass reality but instead how to meet reality without the draining negative self-talk.
Feel safe enough to inhabit the full spectrum of your humanity. This is not a class that is designed to get you to calm down and stay calmed down- this is a class that connects you to your true aliveness and vitality.
If you’re here:
It is because you know deep down that you are less fragile and more powerful, substantial, and capable than you have been taught to be.
It is because you care about giving birth to a more conscious world.
It is because you are ready to embody something new.
This is a recording of a live class with group coaching that took place in August of 2020. The group coaching from the live class is no longer available, but you can get the full course teachings.
By signing up, you get instant access to 4 hour-long talks on how we can cultivate our deep knowing of (and acting from) safety & capacity, and 11 embodied practice meditations and cues which you can use to shift your state, and to then connect that to your day-to-day life.
COURSE CURRICULUM WEEK BY WEEK
WEEK 1: Learning to see from the nervous system's point of view, better understanding the "equipment" of our autonomic nervous system and how to be more consciously aware (and more self-compassionate) when a survival persona is in charge, what we are besides our nervous system responses, and where our thoughts are located in time.
WEEK 2: Dropping finish-line thinking that always turns us into a self-improvement project to perfect, deep permission to be human, the "backdraft" of taking on too-much-too-fast, conscious opening and conscious closing, the 2 main forms of bypass- bliss bypass and doom bypass, how to cultivate dual awareness, learning to locate in internal space.
WEEK 3: How we are wired to be in relationship to one another, polyvagal theory, feeling safe without putting yourself in a bubble, inhabiting internal space more deeply, finding internal anchor points from which you can relate to yourself, others, and the world, contacting the qualities of understanding, tenderness, and life force.
WEEK 4: Why we don't have to fear fear itself, how many self-improvement models either subtly or grossly teach us to gaslight ourselves, the difference between positive thinking and existential courage, the end of self-blame, the beginning of heart-centered action, permission to exist, connecting with your internal compass so you're clear on what you are perceiving accurately and what you want to move towards or away from.
HERE'S HOW IT WORKS:
This course is about:
Emerging out of empathic overwhelm.
Healing unworthiness and toxic shame.
Teaching your system to be able to recognize and create embodied safety.
Growing resilience and capacity for whatever shows up in your life.
Relating to others and to the world from your most grounded and capable self.
This course is not for:
Replacing your one-on-one therapeutic work with a therapist or coach (I am not a therapist, I’m an embodied coach and Realization Process teacher)
Studying a ton of data and neuroscience (it is for experientially making a shift)
Attempting to find ways to be permanently “calmed down” (Sometimes being fired up is the exact right response)
Addressing acute traumatization. (This work requires a lot of intimacy and is not suitable for group work)
Why I’m teaching this course
I’m not the type to be reductionist. If anything, I’m always inviting complexities into the mix in my approach to life, relating, and healing.
And yet, in both my personal healing work and as a practitioner I couldn’t help but keep seeing that genuine change and genuine healing really came down to one foundational ingredient over and over again: safety.
Not the kind of safety that means you can permanently wrap yourself in a cocoon of feeling a constant Stepford neutrality, but rather the kind of safety that teaches you, deep in your bones, how vast your capacity is.
As a client of mine said in an a-ha moment once, “Oh my God! If I can be ok with feeling uncomfortable, I can do anything!”
I’ve been a manual therapist, as a Rolfer, for 20 years and an embodied coach and Realization Process teacher for the last 4 years. Regardless of the healing work- whether my clients were healing chronic pain or healing a pervasive feeling of unworthiness, or anything else- the necessary ingredient that was the clear game changer over and over again was the ability to embody safety.
Seeing that there is this one critical feature needed for any true shift of transformation to take place, I wanted to bring that to people in an accessible and experiential way, and to do that in a group container. In this way we can focus on being safety rather than understanding all of its mechanics.
We can feel sturdy and capable instead of blown around by stressors and other people’s emotions.
We can feel warm and open instead of contracted and defended.
We can feel more “here” instead of either zoned out or hopping far into the future in the hopes of figuring out what we need to do, or frequently hopping into the past in order to figure out what went wrong.
We can engage with the world from a place of deep presence- where we feel safe enough to be open and engaged and yet also safe enough to be clear about our boundaries and when they are being transgressed.